I never know where to start anymore. It's as if I have Senior-itis and all I can concentrate on is how many more granola bars I'll need to pack for school lunches...
I'm now down to four.
The last week of school has finally arrived. It's been tough and we are all exhausted. I'm not yet counting hours but that time will come.
Sean and I should be at our last Boy Scout meeting for the year tonight but alas, we are not. Or, at least, he isn't. I did go for a bit to check in. Our quarterly ceremony is next week during which the boys get the badges that they've earned and advance in rank.
Sean had a small meltdown this evening before dinner. He came home from school super-stressed. Again, nothing had gone wrong during the day. He was simply very tightly wound. You could see it in his face and hear it in his voice. All of his mannerisms were off.
He said that it felt like the teachers were trying to shove a bunch of work into the final days. They could be. I remember times like that in college. Then again, he could have little patience left for schoolwork, regardless of the amount.
I told him that I thought he should stay home from the scout meeting tonight. I thought he needed a chance to relax and unwind.
Sean said something about needing to go so he could work on a merit badge. Our troop is trying to get the boys to earn at least one merit badge for each quarterly ceremony. Sean has yet to earn his. When we realized he was going to be short of requirements this time around, we thought it would be better to not achieve it then to rush it through. I think the leaders understand all of the changes and challenges that Sean has faced these last few months and won't hold him to it.
Earning a merit badge pales in comparison to what Sean has achieved in his life since January.
Surely, no one would hold him accountable given the circumstances.
However, Sean has his own set of standards and has his own, although this time mistaken, timeline.
He completely freaked when I told him that the ceremony was next week and that it was impossible to get through his requirements AND get them approved by a counselor AND get them in to the troop in time for the ceremony. It wasn't possible a few weeks ago and it wasn't possible now. End of story.
"But Mom, you said the Court of Honor was in two weeks!"
"Yes, Sean. That was the other day. Now it's one week."
"But Mom, I'm required to get at least one."
"Sean, it's going to be OK. You're going to earn a bunch this summer and go up in rank in September. It's going to be OK."
The fact that he calmed down so quickly could have been due to any number of things. He could have been relieved to not have to go to scouts and instead, get to stay home and play on the computer. His brain could have moved on to another, more pressing, subject such as how to win Attack at school with only two lunch periods left. Or, the meltdown could have had nothing to do with anything really and he merely needed to vent about something and chose scouting.
I'm choosing all of the above.
This particular time in the school year is always tough. And, I think, being at two schools and the decision to leave one of them, has only added to his stress.
Most of the kids in his day program take a week off and then continue on with summer school. It's not really an ending, although this year Sean has had to deal with a couple of the kids graduating from his multi-grade classroom.
The energy is probably much more charged at the junior high. School's out!! Woo Hoo!!! Could the kids be more rambunctious? Could the chaos created by a student body nine times larger than Sean's day program be magnified in these last waning days of academia?
Maybe Sean doesn't know how to react. Maybe he simply needs time to absorb all that is going on.
Therefore, we'll keep it quiet this week. Or, as quiet as you can with therapy, work, and two other kids running about the house.
He'll get through it. I know he will.
Besides, he only has 20 hours left....