TGIF.... Seriously.
I think I finally fell asleep last night/this morning moments before the royal wedding began. My mind was swirling after an eventful evening at work.
Frustrated? Angry? You bet.
But as I lay in bed tossing and turning, I began to wonder exactly who I am.
Where did this angry, full of fight, vengeful person come from?
I used to be so quiet.
In fact, way back in the last millennium, my brother Ken wrote a poem about the family for Christmas. Each sibling was singled out with their own little verse.
"Frances so quiet and so serene... To you Life could never be so mean."
Christmas 1974.
So where did this person that I have become, come from?
In a nice-nice world, I could say it comes naturally from the mother-cub bond. But where that relationship is protective, I am more angry.
And I believe Autism is the cause.
Not because of the diagnosis....no. But because of the reaction of the world out there. The ignorance. The judging with the "I know better than you" attitude. The insurance companies. The services...or lack there of.
How much have I had to fight? How much have Rich and I had to fight?
It's exhausting. But you do it.
And you can almost never relax. An insurance denial. A look from a stranger out in public. A mess up in the schedule.
A fighter. Always a fighter.
And then the bus comes. You kiss your kid and send him off for the day.
You close the door and unlace your gloves but you never quite take them off. You breath a sigh of relief and relax your stance for just a moment.
Eventually, the phone rings, the mail comes, the unkind word is spoken....
You come out of your corner, ready to fight again.
So TGIF my friends....TGIF....
And for my son.... TGIF.... Thank God I'm Fighting.
Some of us thank God you're fighting. We're learning, in some cases beginning to understand, Frances. Thank God you're fighting. I'm a richer person for knowing you and your family.
ReplyDeleteLester
The phone rang Friday at 12:10 p.m. -- "Hello, This is Mr. X from school; your child is in my office ... In school suspenion for remainder of the day ..." Thank god only two hours left; what wreck will I have when she gets off the school bus today? They are doing the state standards testing in Indiana on the computer; she had finished and is supposed to just sit there until all the students finish and she was playing with the computer mouse, then was disrespectful to her resource teacher about it. She doesn't understand why she can't read a book or doodle or go back to class. It's been a simmering issue all week for her. So yes, TGIF! New to your blog and enjoying it. Good to know I am not alone.
ReplyDeleteKeep fighting!!
ReplyDelete--Your BFFF...