Of course, I didn’t want him to go. I didn’t think he was ready.
Beyond the typical concerns of would he be tired or have coughing fits, I worried about more basic stuff.
Would he cover his mouth when he coughed?
Something that is so simple that even 5-year old Ashley has been telling him to do it for years.
So why then, does he not do it?
I could say, “I don’t know” but I kind of, sort of do.
Sean is a defiant little chap.
Yep, that’s my boy…always questioning authority even when I know best.
The worst thing is that because he spends untold hours on the Internet researching whatever passes his fancy that day; he’ll have some obscure study to back up his argument.
How can I, good old Mom, compete with Wikipedia and Google??
Takes all the fun out of “Because I said so” because I can never say so!
Thus, Sean has some logical explanation for why he doesn’t have to cover his mouth when he coughs.
It’s frustrating because in one sense you’re dealing with a highly intelligent child who probably knows more than you.
Then again, you have a child…a child… who needs to be taught manners and respect and the true meaning of “Because I said so.”
Now that Sean is mainstreamed his lack of manners and teenage defiance actually scares me.
He could be reprimanded for the slightest thing… not washing his hands, not covering his mouth, eating with his fingers…. and it could escalate into an incident that jeopardizes his integration.
I know that sounds completely irrational and like total paranoia, but we all know how things can get out of hand quickly.
And that’s why we worry… or, at least, that’s why I worry.
I don’t think about those things with my “typical” kids. If Ashley doesn’t wash her hands after using the bathroom then her teacher will remind her and she will obediently head off to the sink.
Carissa would do the same.
Sean would let out a huge sigh and turn it into a civil rights violation.
It’s hand washing for god’s sake!
But that’s the type of stuff that keeps me up at night and why I wanted to keep him home an extra day from school.
One of my favourite movies of all time is Letters To Juliet. In one of the final scenes the characters talk about the words “what” and “if.” Separate, they are so innocent. Combined – and I’m taking great liberties with paraphrasing – they really mess with your mind.
While Sean learns the system of the junior high and how it feels to be mainstreamed, I need to learn to stop losing sleep over two little words.
What if he gets in trouble for not covering his mouth when he coughs?
It’s not like I didn’t tell him. It’s not like we didn’t try to get him to do it.
You all know I can be a nag when I want to….
But I have to learn to let him take some of the responsibility for his actions. He’s almost in high school now. I can’t be there for every sniffle, every bathroom break.
He’s going to have to learn on his own and figure out that conforming to society doesn’t necessarily mean a constitutional violation.
He’ll learn. I’ll learn.
And we’ll go on from there…
Because I said so…
But let me check with Wikipedia first.