Sean’s been begging me for weeks to post something on my blog. Just about every day something will come up and he’ll ask, “So Mom… are you going to write about this in your blog?”
I generally answer, “No, honey. Not today.”
But I should… I really should.
The other day he asked me what was wrong. He senses that I am stressed all the time. I told him that with everything going on that my mind was too jumbled to put two thoughts together…let alone, write an entire entry.
So then he told me to write about that….
Nice, I get called out on the carpet by my own 13 year old kid.
The year of 2012 has sucked. There really is no better word for it. Although I could certainly use a lot of other words to describe it!
My 80-year old mother hurt herself New Year’s Eve. Then, under my watch, she found herself – and her head – being bounced out of a revolving door.
You want to talk guilt??? Let’s talk guilt.
Modern medicine and my mother’s thick stubborn skull – although it might have been that babushka she was wearing – saved her mind and spirit and she has mended quite well.
But then Smokey, my 15-½ year old German Shepard/Boxer mix, took ill.
And then she died.
It was heart breaking. It was awful. One day she would eat and the next she wouldn’t.
Sean… I don’t know why…. But he has this sixth sense about him. And he’s frank about it…so frank. Out of the blue one day, he just came out and said, “So Mom, Smokey’s…um… dying.”
“Yes, honey. She is.”
“Oh, well that’s OK. She’s lived a good life.”
And that was it. No real emotion. No tears. No sadness to his voice. But I knew he knew. And I knew he understood.
When that night finally came and Smokey, surrounded by the five of us, breathed her last, Sean stayed calm amongst the overwhelming emotions of the moment.
Was he being autistic or simply strong for his family?
I needed to stay home with the girls and Rich couldn’t possibly take Smokey to the animal hospital by himself so Sean went with.
I think father and son bonded on that final trip with our beloved family pet. Rich said he told stories about Smokey being a puppy…. and what a naughty little puppy she was!
It was only weeks earlier that Sean admitted he had let Smokey take the blame for the wallpaper being torn off the wall in the kitchen.
When they got to the animal hospital Rich took Smokey out of the car. She was stiff…. something I wanted to shield the girls from.
But Sean… sweet Sean…. took note of it. He said as he always does when Life actually mimics what he’s only read in books or on the computer….
“Wow… I didn’t think that really happened.”
It’s Life, Sean. And Life also means Death. You can read about it in books but you’re going to have to experience it one day for real.
So my son finally stepped away from the computer, stepped out of his world, and joined ours for just awhile.
It’s sad that it had to be for such a moment.
But it needed to be done.
Just like getting off of my butt, unscrambling my brain, and writing this blog.
Sometimes you have to listen to your kid’s unfiltered wisdom.
But let’s keep the fact that he was truly right this time our little secret.
Sean already thinks he knows it all. There would be no living with him if he ever got the idea that sometimes, he actually does!