My jaw hurts. I can feel the stress slowly seep through the muscles and rob me of both flexibility and weeks of being pain-free. The miles on my exercise bike a constant reminder that "soft food diet" does not mean hot fudge ice cream sundaes for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Today has been one of those days and it's only 11:27 am. It's not one where chaos reigns and you go into Super Mom mode and finally come down from the adrenaline high after the last child is safely tucked into bed. It's not one like yesterday where there were moments of sheer giddiness over your love for life.
No, today is just one of those days where the things-to-do list stretches further than your capabilities and the bumps in the road come somewhat as expected.
Sean had an orthodontist appointment this morning. A short, uncomplicated one but it still involved an email and three phone calls to inform everyone of the slight change in schedule.
Did the bus still arrive to shuttle him from one school to another even after I called to cancel? Yes.
Oh, why do I try?
The biggest surprise of all from this morning's adventure came from Sean himself. He was late coming to the office after his last class. The minutes ticked by and I could only imagine getting stuck by every red light between school and the orthodontist.
He didn't slip by and get on the bus, did he? No....
Finally I see him coming down the hall. He's walking. Slowly.
Obviously something is wrong but he won't say until he gets into the car. It takes the entire car ride, every red light, and a swoop into a parking place with my mini, minivan before I'm able to figure out that a teacher stopped him in the hallway and questioned him as to why he was at his locker during an unscheduled time.
All he had to say was "home"... "mom"...."braces".... any utterance as to what his plans were and maybe the teacher would have understood.
But those words were left unsaid.
He became frazzled. He panicked.
I think he was afraid of getting into trouble for something that he didn't understand. I also think the reason he was walking so slowly was so that I wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. I did see them. I peeked out of the office door and saw him wipe them away as he came down the hallway.
I felt so bad.
But the important thing though, is that he handled it. Not me. Not Rich. But Sean. And while he might have been upset or confused, he got through it without a meltdown, without screams, and, what will be my secret, without tears.
Sean's growing up and doing well. He really is....
I couldn't be more proud.