I want to run today. And if it weren't so darn cold outside, the running might be more literally. No, today I want to run away. Get myself out of the house. Away from the laptop. Away from the phones.
Today is the first day back to school for the kids after Spring Break.
Tired? Yep. Crabby? Oh yeah....
And that's just me!
Seriously, though, the morning went better than expected. Some groaning. Some grumbling. But overall, an ok start.
The reason I want to run so badly is because today Sean starts not only a new rotation in Fine Arts (music instead of art), but he is also adding two more classes to his schedule at the junior high. Integration is moving forward and while Sean may be prepared, I am not.
He was instructed to check in with his mentor first thing this morning. I reminded him... alot. Nagging? Probably. Beyond the accepted annoyance level of a soon-to-be-teenager? Definitely.
I hope. I hope. I hope.
Sean's last "first" day at the junior high back in January was a silent disaster according to me. Thankfully, Sean was blissfully unaware that anything was amiss. He was given an incorrect schedule, led to a vacant classroom and left there. No one looked for him. No one wondered.
I know he's in a school with almost a thousand other kids and we're not supposed to expect special treatment. But this was a big step for Sean. A big step for us as a family. It was trusting outside of our small circle.
Sean may be just one in a mass of kids but he's my kid. My son. They could have at least given a crap....
So today I sit and watch the clock, wondering if I want the phone to ring or not.
I cannot hold his hand. I cannot be there to help him get through whatever difficulties he may encounter. I cannot do what I have been intensely trained to do over the last thirteen years.
I can only hope.
Now if only it would get warmer so I could.